Ugly is not being a single mother! Ugly is not take being a dad!
The other day I was talking with a friend about how hard it is to raise a son who sees his father rarely. Not because the relationship didn't work or because some resentment can disrupt, but because the door is open for the child to live with the father, He did not enter for her.
Come on: who ever heard around the mother of the son of guy trouble? He sees the son when he wants, give the money thinking they are helping (colleague, is nothing but your obligation) and still complain horrors of how the child's mother trouble, requires presence of the father and that all of the men are terrified, even if it's for a few minutes.
What many people don't understand and don't filter before releasing a "Oh, but that's just to disturb you, is not?”, is that the disruption begins when the wife needs a break. Off the time she takes care of the son, fully.
What single mom is that I've never heard them say that she needs to take a day off for the father of your child? Because he works too hard, you're too tired or something less. Funny, right? Some men can have the same profession, less or more time available and dedicate themselves to the family the same way. While someone deals with a father who has time for all, least for the kids, will always have an audience to applaud the father that appears when and when you feel like it. But it will always be like this: If you work out, you're the selfish who don't give up their own stuff by son. If you don't work, you're a gold digger who only expects the pension. IE, We're almost always wrong, and the men-even if they are in the middle of the children – will be doing better if at least fulfill the financial obligation to the child.
While the father does not appear, someone has to do the shopping, the snacks, the baths, teeth brushed, teach the difference between right and wrong, teach to protect, dealing with tantrums, prepare and feed, teaching duties, take and get at school, attend school meetings, take to the hospital, change diapers, change the vocabulary (Goodbye profanity)... and who does that if the father is not present? The mother! And this is not taken into account while the father walks free, no concerns about the child's well-being or present, Since the mother's role of two (or three, because the day-by-day with kids, sad every day know how laborious).
And you know what's more curious? That same burdened, being women, mothers, providers, caregivers, nurses, babysitters, teachers and all, Yet some say that we are the witches who do not leave the parents alone. With the single mother, There is no working range that renders them unable to multitask and manage to juggle life with children. Because of children, We don't have a leave form, It's not even? Meanwhile the parents are when it suits, Curiously tidy time to travel, football games, exits with friends, little flirtations ... and the son is a priority in life, so? I don't understand how it's still all obligation of the mother, inclusive TLC!
We, single mothers, We have this thing about wanting the best for the child, fulfill various functions and make up for the absence of the father, or trying to make the parent realizes that he is important in the lives of their children Yes. But that's not up to us, did you know? As much as our children are beautiful, healthy and don't get in our heads how can be left aside or views when it's convenient, We need to understand that there's no use forcing anything. Tapping it might work, but it's not a cake recipe that works with all over the world.
If you're a mom and you believe that there is no single former father and despite a troubled history – or not – your son need and want the presence of the father, demonstrates this to the parent. Explains how your child acts, the questions and makes it clear that he is important in the life of the son. But understand that if the father has no interest in placing the child as priority, He's not the one who will be a priority in the life of the child. What I mean: Don't be frustrated if after you chase, try to talk and ask for an effective presence, that father had not realized that the topic is important in the daily life of the child and the fair division of rights and obligations of both parents. It happens more than you think. If you have to know how to separate things and tried an approach, This removal is not your choice!
Our role of mother (and in many cases of father, also) is to create our offspring the best possible way. And who does that on the occasion, convenience, perhaps deserves the same kind of treatment. Is father, relative or simply someone without an ounce of empathy and sense of reality.
One day, our children will grow up. And we don't need to tell them who was there, who did everything and prioritized the life and happiness of them. Because children watch it all, mainly about who is with them, whether or not by obligation.
What we do is for our children. So the focus is on them and the father, that appears rarely, do the role he chose: the supporting roles. Can be a shame, but our daily portion, We do. Parents run behind their children and stop complaining about non-existent or exaggerated situations. Stop with the excuses, mainly. And one day you realize that many single parents (or not) can pull it with much love, care and dialogue. Those will be present in the childhood memories of the children. If no parents present to those memories, our kids always put us in your future junk.
Source: HAVE YOU EVER BEEN