If you ever think about going to Portugal to spend some time, then I strongly suggest you read this article before making your decision. It’s for your own good, really.
1. Portugal is rather dull-looking.
2. The natural landscapes aren’t exactly breathtaking.
3. If you’re looking to go to the beach, forget it. They’re all crap.
4. Yep, nothing to see here at all, folks.
5. Please, the hobbit house is a lot cooler. You poser.
6. It’s a country with absolutely no history.
7. It’s boring to be at. Nowhere interesting to go to.
8. It’s just meh.
9. No interesting wildlife
10. The countryside is as exciting as watching paint dry
11. Aveiro is Portugal’s Venice? Pfff, please. Nice try.
12. The food looks awful.
13. And then there’s also the “francesinha” I wrote about in my former post. It almost makes you wanna throw up, doesn’t it?
14. The drinks too. No good wine anywhere in this country. Just awful.
15. No especially tasty sweets either for dessert. Why God, why?
16. The cities, especially the main ones, look horrible. And you call yourself the capital, Lisbon?
17. Nothing cultural or traditional worth noting.
18. Museums are even more boring than usual. No history, remember?
19. No good music festivals happening either. Much less international ones.
20. And even the women are hideous. Seriously, some of them even have a moustache!
21. Awful music called “Fado” that is apparently held in high regard by all the Portuguese. Can’t figure that one out for the life of me.
22. In terms of sports, Portugal sucks. No one here cares much about it, especially about football.
23. The people are very rude. And they don’t care much for foreigners. You’ve been warned.
24. And look, it’s a freaking wasteland mostly.
25. Especially in Alentejo. It’s basically the desert of Portugal.
26. People don’t know how to party there. Really disappointing.
27. So, if you still haven’t got the message…
28. Don’t bother traveling to Portugal!
Oh, and also…
You’ve probably realized it halfway through this, but I am indeed contradicting myself in this article. And yes, this is on purpose. That’s becausePortugal is actually one of the best places you could ever visit! Just ask anyone who’s been there that was in a position similar to yours, or people that actually live there. And yes, you will probably encounter some older people with moustaches, although it’s not as common as before. But not women though! That was just a joke.
I hope not…